We have heard or said or applied the meaning of a popular proverb, “Think before you leap” for over gazillion times right from the time it was written on the black board. (white board and markers weren’t a thing back then, chalk and duster were)
As we grew up, a lot of things changed in our lives. Some beliefs did change, but not the good things and the values our schools inculcated in us. So the proverb in question didn’t change. We didn’t forget it either. We rather take the learnings seriously which is a good thing.
So before starting out on anything big and specifically new, we give it a lot of thought regarding when to do, how to do, even to do or not and so on. This ‘anything’ can be enrolling for a course, applying for exams, begin a career or starting a business.
A rough perspective is that, thinking begins from a point of purpose. Then it should slowly move towards the pros and cons. After weighing the pros and cons, there is time consumption to consider for. Finally, there is a feasibility factor. Each and every stage should be well thought with estimates coming after expert opinions before a final decision is made.
Our experiences, mostly from the bad to worst, all of these tend to come in our cache memory to warn us when thinking about anything. This slowly starts happening to even the most common part of our daily lives. This leads to a very irritating yet dangerous habit called “overthinking”. It can be irritating to others and dangerous to you.
“We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.”
-Anthony Hopkins
Overthinking is mostly about the negatives. Failure, bad health, an accident or mishap, job loss, embarrassment. All these are among the most prominent subjects of overthinking.
Some scenarios which will best describe overthinking.
A. My girlfriend hasn’t responded to my last 2 messages. Is she not interested in me anymore?
B. Our professor shouted at us during the morning lecture. Will he fail us in the oral tests?
C. My manager is unhappy with my last project. Am I going to lose my job?
D. I am not feeling hungry since a few hours. Am I having any health problem?
E. An hour after going to bed, when you are half asleep, “Have I switched off the bathroom lights?”
Now, let us deep dive to the bottom of this problem where it actually begins. The answer is experiences, rather the bad ones. In other words, the nightmares.
Well, we have had enough about the negatives from the article. Now, time for some positives. Every problem has a solution which each one of you knows. Depending on the nature or size of the problem, the solution may differ.
Our problem for the day is overthinking and solutions for that. Overthinking is an outcome of our mind which is constantly working round the clock, 24 X 7.
The thoughts which are constantly being generated and flowing in our minds are nothing but the reflection of our surroundings, exposure, habits and perceptions. These things act like a data written on a disk called “sub-conscious mind”. The good news is that, the disk is rewritable.
It‘s not possible to tell our minds to stop thinking or stop thinking negative. However we can change the nature or quality of thoughts. Yes, we can actually replace the negative ones with the positive ones. So in our disk of subconscious mind we will copy paste the positives and delete the negatives. Got it? But how? Here’s how.
We will go back to the same scenarios and figure out the solutions.
A. My girlfriend hasn’t responded to my last two messages. Is she not interested in me anymore?
Two messages right? Not two hundred messages. Why don’t you just give her some time to finish up with her important work and get back to you?
B. Our professor shouted at us during the morning lecture. Will he fail us in the oral tests?
He found out that you and your friends were not focusing while he was teaching for which he has served justice. If you don’t prepare well and answer a single question, then even you won’t like getting passing marks.
C. My manager is unhappy with my last project. Am I going to lose my job?
If you continue to let your last bad project experience affect your current work, you are sure to be fired someday.
D. I am not feeling hungry since a few hours. Am I having any health problem?
Aw! Few hours, really? Sounds like days to you? Having eaten 4 cream doughnuts for a breakfast, you expect to feel hungry? You will be fine even if you starve the whole day.
E. An hour after going to bed, when you are half asleep, “Have I switched off the bathroom lights?”
Instead of wasting your time and possibly the electricity, just go and check it.
We are done with handling the negatives but not completely done yet. We have learnt to devise solutions from problems to problems. We also want to fill in the positivity.
As discussed before surroundings, exposure, habits and perceptions these play important part on the quality of thoughts generated subconsciously. Simple and only thing to do is to introspect these factors. If you find them bad, try to change it. No, it won’t happen in day or overnight. It will take a significant time to see the changes.
Once the results begin to show up it is necessary to establish a permanent hold on the positive change so as to avoid relapse. We will discuss some ways to do that with some gentle reminders. It also won’t be a bad idea to make posters of these quotes.
It’s just an illusion.
Whatever the bad thoughts which cross your mind, it is necessary to know that they are not happening for real. Not every bad thing, coming to your mind based on a mere incident will come to reality.
It’s just a phase.
Whenever you are going through bad times, its hard to think positively all the time and not have fears. What’s important is to keep moving ahead.
Not all times are the same.
There are good times, there are bad times. They are just like seasons. Never the same.
It’s a part of it. Learn from it.
You play games. Both indoor and outdoor. When you win, the opponents lose and vice versa. So for a game, winning and losing are opposite yet very much important parts. They signify each other. Its just about time.
There are always more things which can be added to this article. Do you have anything to add here? If yes, then do share your views in the comments.
